Will They Never
by spacEnigma83
Summary: This story will be told from Regina's point of view. I wanted to delve in to those scenes between Snow and a magically disguised Regina in the episode 2X20 "The Evil Queen". She just wants Snow out of the way so she can be loved by the people… is it so terrible to want to be loved?
1. Chapter 1

****This is a Point Of View story which I have only partially done once before and it seemed to go over rather well. I was VERY inspired by the scene in 2X20 "The Evil Queen" when Regina is pretending to be someone else while with Snow White. I kept saying to my screen... _Why is this so cute? Why is this so moving?_ Naturally I wanted to write about it. If there is another story like this out there I am sorry... I am not trying to steal anyone's thunder. I simply wasn't in the mood to read. I really just wanted to write my own.**

**Oh and not to burst any bubbles but since we are very much in the early stages of figuring out who Regina was, is, or who she will be…this story will probably not end happily. If you are okay with that then read on if not then maybe you should read one of my happier family fluff stories instead. :)****

**Will They Never**

I am a Queen. I own the people of this kingdom. Why is it then that they do not love me? Why is it when I ask for nothing of them but their will to worship me they refuse? There is only one reason and that reason is the existence of Snow White.

Ever since I met that girl my life has been nothing but a mess. Her father was looking for a new Queen, he proposed and with mother pushing me along I had no choice but to accept. He brought me here to this castle to his wretched kingdom. He thought that by marrying me I would fill some sort of void for him but he never stopped reminding me of who the void was… his wife, his beloved _Eva_… the mother of his child. I would never be able to live in the light so long as this shadow she still cast lingered even after her untimely death... whatever the cause of it was.

If Leopold even attempted to love me for who I was maybe it would not have hurt so much but then Snow took all of his time and attention. Everything he did was for her. I mean the only reason he even asked me to marry him was because he was looking for a new… _mother_… for her. Everything he did was to appease the little brat. At every party, at every festival, he never failed to mention that Snow was the apple of his eye. It only made killing him off that much easy.

Then there was the fact that I didn't know what to do with this girl now that her father was dead. She… she moped around for weeks afterward. I didn't want to even attempt to console her. The thought of it made me ill. Even then she had the affections of the kingdom. They came to pay their respects to _her_… not to me. We held court to accept these people and their pathetic displays of condolence. It was… _exhausting_... having to put up a feigned mask of grief.

I held no grief for that old bag but Snow… Oh she played it up. I'm sure she just loooved the attention. People would kneel before her and tell her how sorry they were. Oh… it just… the whole thing was ridiculous! They loved her. It didn't matter that I was now Queen… they loved… _her_.

No matter what I did the people were always going to love her. I thought that by taking her father from her things would change, that the fall of the king would raise me up and the people would then become loyal to me but that hasn't happened has it? No.

I rid the kingdom of their King only to later frame their princess for it and I would soon rule on my own. I would finally be the Queen that my mother always wanted me to be. I would be in charge. I would be loved but so long as Snow White remains living in these lands it seems I will never have any of that.

I sent her off in to the woods and had the infamous huntsman disguised as one of my knights. I tried to have her heart ripped out and brought to me and the one man they claim could achieve this for me failed. The huntsman spared that insolent child and now she roams the woods, taunting me, constantly reminding me of my failure. I have to do things differently. I have to be ruthless. I have to smoke her out of these woods.

"Berkley!" It takes far too long for my main hand to come to my viewing room. "Ber-kley!" I call out again and he finally walks through the threshold of the room.

"Yes my Queen." He says as he stumbles his way in to view. He's nothing but a drunken ass. I don't know why I bother keeping him around.

"Gather your men. I want you to scout the outer lying villages. I need to know where Snow White was last seen. I will give you two days… _two_… _days_… to get me this information and as soon as you have what I am asking you will report to me. Do you understand?"

"Yes my Queen… but two days… I will not need both. I will be back tomorrow with word for you." He says as he kneels before me in homage. What an idiot but I work with what I am given. The lowlifes of this kingdom serve me well as lackeys and when I need dirty work done they do not question me. It simply pays to be Queen.

It is beyond me how this little princess has eluded me… this little… thorn in my side. She's out there living in the shadows or more than likely forging alliances out there in a plan to turn the peasants of this kingdom against me. I will not stand for this. I have to rid myself of this menacing princess once and for all.

I mull around in my chambers looking through my mother's book of spells that I had taken from her. It's a shame I pushed her through that looking glass but it simply needed to be done. She was holding me back. I... I felt so... so trapped. I hated that she used magic but I think I hated it more that she used it on me. I was never enough for her. I struggled to do what she asked of me all the while trying to just... be... happy.

I just don't understand how heartless she could be towards me and my father. How did a woman like that find herself in such a position to marry such a kind gentle soul like my father? I love Daddy. I love him so much. He does nothing but worry for me. He's probably the only person now who can still make me smile... the only person I ever feel any warmth from... any kindness. No matter who I am or what I want to become he's here.

Why can't everyone be that way? He even works for me... he does so because he loves me not because I force him. Is it really so hard to love me? I don't understand these people. It's not like I've run them in to the ground.

I'd like to think our kingdom is very well off. While we can only hope to compete with the wealth of King Midas, even King George, I'm sure that this kingdom is doing just fine under my rule. I know how to manage affairs. I've done so quite well on my own these past few months. Surely... _surely_ this shows my worth to these people. "Ugh..." if they only knew the things I do for them. The sacrifices I have made to be in a position to rule over them are just beyond me.

I hate that this castle gets so cold. "Martha! Martha are you there? Come here you useless hag!" I watch as the old chamber maid makes her way in to my room. It's funny how they cower at hearing my voice. At least I can so easily be entertained by this. "My chambers are quite cold. Build the fire and have the kitchen maid send up some wine. I do not wish to be disturbed this evening. I have many things to... for heaven's sake are you even listening to me? Look at me when I am speaking to you!"

The woman jerks as I raise my voice at her. I cannot help but laugh at her discomfort. "You're just lucky I don't want to break in any new staff. You should feel quite privileged to work for me. I am your Queen am I not? Do I not give you a job with a friendly wage? Do I not make trade with outer kingdoms to provide you and your people with... with goods and services so that you and your sniveling children can live out your days without fear of being out in the cold?"

The woman simply wrings her hands together with her head bowed still not looking me in the eye. "It's alright Martha... answer me. Do the people not love me? Do they not love their Queen?"

At this question she looks up and barely manages to thrown a sideways glance in my direction. "Yes your Majesty. We... the people... I'm sure they do love you." Her voice quivers as she quite possibly fears for her life at this moment.

I cannot help but roll my eyes. Such dead words from the mouth of a lowly peasant. "Leave me." I all but bark. "Don't forget to send up the wine. I'll call to have the fire tended to later as well."

The next morning is quite uneventful. I did not have much in the way of visitors but what else is new. I hated holding court anyhow so it did not bother me when my invitations were dismissed. I didn't need friends. I didn't need people judging me I simply needed alliances and my title as Queen. Nothing more.

It was in the late afternoon that Berkley makes his way to the royal study with word. Snow White had been seen in a small village just in the woods. There was simply no time to waste. I would find her and have her head.

I send word for the stable master to ready my horse. I would be riding out there. I wanted to be there the moment she was found. I wanted to see her face once she had been caught. What a sight that would be... the terror that might run through her. She might grovel and ask me to spare her life and I will comply with this request at first. I simply have too much at stake to kill her off in an instant like that. I'll have to draw out her punishment until it fully sinks in... the pain she has caused me all because she simply couldn't keep her mouth shut.

****Normally this is the part where I ask for reviews to spur me on but this is a story I really want to write and I plan to continue with it. I will welcome feedback though, I always appreciate it... I just already have a definite direction that I want to go this time... which is not normally the case.**

**My only regret for writing this story is that I don't get to describe the pompous glares and snarls that Regina uses during her little _"inner monologue"_ but being the Evil Queen in this episode I'm sure you all got that ;)****


	2. Chapter 2

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****I love how diabolical Regina is. She can be sweet for like a second and then "Kill em all" the next… such a spontaneous character. That's why she's my favorite! Never borin.**

**Taking in to account that these stories are for entertainment purposes only… I must confess that I have to use a lot of the actual episode dialogue otherwise this story makes no sense. If I transcribed it wrong well… oops… :)****

**Chapter 2**

Was it such a complicated plea... to keep a secret that meant so much? I saved that wretched girl from that runaway horse she was riding. I saved... _her_... _life..._ and what does she do to repay me? I make this one simple request to keep my love for Daniel a secret and she turns right around and does the very opposite. She turned my world upside down. I lost my love and my life in one fell swoop.

Is it so terrible to seek revenge? I owe it to Daniel at least to avenge him. I mean if it weren't for her he'd be alive. I might have been able to live away from him, to love him from a distance but no, she just had to tell Mother, and her excuse... she simply did not want me to have to bear the burden of a life without my own mother. Well the jokes on you then isn't it Snow!? I rid myself of my overbearing mother on my own accord... _well alright_... with the help of Rumplestiltskin I did.

When we finally arrive at the village she had last been seen it is dark out but my men are equipped with torches. Berkley makes his way in to a small cottage to search it and when I enter after him he informs me, though there wasn't much need for it… _I am not blind after all_, that the place had been abandoned.

I gathered that the people caught wind that we were on our way and they helped her to escape. For that they must pay. _Oh wait... I forget... I'm trying to make them love me. _Then I'll offer them a chance to show their loyalty to me. I will offer a reward. I will show them that I have kindness within me. I will give them a chance to turn Snow over to me.

At my command Berkley gathers the villagers and I come out to address them. In my ever imposing voice I drivel out, "Snow white has betrayed you. She poisoned her own father, my dear husband..." _Good riddance..._ "Your benevolent king, so she can try to ascend the throne herself. She even now stalks the outer villages. Bandit… murderer… and traitor. Information leading to Snow's capture will be richly rewarded." I hold the gazes of a few of these people. They cower, they shiver, and their eyes fill with fear. I will take fear right now. I need them to understand that I mean business.

Not one of them comes forward. In fact they now start to avoid looking in my direction. Some even turn their backs. _I will not stand for this!_ "No one!? Not one of you wants gold? You're telling me she lived here, and not... one... of you saw her?!" I can honestly say that I'd love nothing more than to scream right now but the fact remains I must keep my composure if only to show my will to rule this kingdom.

Berkley comes over, "What shall we do now Your Majesty?"

There is only one thing left _to_ do at this point. "Kill them all... no mercy. Find me Snow White."

I make my way, not to my own castle, but to that of Rumplestiltskin. This running around and searching is simply wearing me out. I do not have the time nor the patience. I need to find her and he may be the only one who can help me.

I make my way in to his castle, acting as if I own the place. It's just something that suits me. I call for him, "Rumplestiltskin!"

He's in his main hall. "Well it seems you've taken to power quite nicely." I can't stand his banter. "It gives your cheeks a nice rosy color."

I do not even bother entertaining his comments. I need a solution to my predicament. "I don't understand them. I offer these peasants a fortune, and they still protect Snow White! Why are they loyal to her and not to me? I... am their Queen!"

Ever quick to point out my shortcomings his reply is, "You did just slaughter an entire village. Maybe that's why they call you... the "Evil Queen!" He laughs at this. I cannot stand that infernal laugh.

"I am not evil! They call me that because of her! She's the evil one."

"They're her people Dearie." I hate that he is quick to do that... to taunt me with particulars. I need none of that now. "You're gonna have to be content with the fear. They'll never love you."

_Oh_, "They will. When she is gone... when Snow is dead, then they will see my kindness." I offer very assuredly.

"Through the charred remains of their homes? I'm sure that will be perfectly clear."

"Well in time it will be." I point out. "Her death will allow it, and I'm going to find her. Apparently I have to do it myself." They say when you want something done right you must simply do it yourself. I work with nothing but incompetence on a daily basis.

"Well in that outfit, finding her should be easy."

He's mocking me again and it is quite annoying how he is always right. If only there was a way for me to disguise myself so that I might... Wait! "Teach me my mother's shape-shifting spell. Allow me to hide." I insist. Oh... this will be an excellent idea.

"It took your mother months to learn that. You? Well in a week you'll be able to... uh... change your hair? Highlights maybe?"

Mother had been learning magic from him over the course of many years. I didn't have months or years to waste. I needed a solution to my Snow problem NOW! "If I can't do the spell, you can. Put it on me." I almost demand.

He does not even pause to think it over which often alarms me but I am growing more impatient by the minute. "If I do you won't control it, and you won't have any magic while the spell is working." He warns.

"I won't need magic. Just as long as I can get close enough to snap her neck with my bare hands." _See the fear in her eyes, hear her beg for her pathetic life, and I'll just laugh all the while. I can't wait!_

"I can see you're determined... and when the deed is done call upon me. Only I can return you to your regal self."

Regal... that I am. So now that I have him willing I must work out his little price. It's always something with him. "Hold on. What's the prince?" I come out and ask directly because I dislike surprises. I'd hate to have him change me then ask for something totally absurd.

"Boring matter of state..." He offers. "I need you to cut off all trade with King George's realm."

What could that possibly earn him? He's always so methodical in what he does. What service does this provide him? "King George? Why?"

"What's it to you?" He says quite defensively.

And really I'm only wasting time worry about his motives. "Fine. Fine! Just do it. Time is of the essence." I feel his magic engulf me and as the smoke dissipates I still feel very much myself. Should I feel different? "I don't feel any different... other than these ghastly rags." I reach out my arms to examine these rags... _filthy_.

He guides me over to the large ornate mirror he happens to have close by. Why is it that he is always prepared? "This is what the world will see." He says to me.

I cannot help but gasp in delight. I feel giddy all of a sudden. "Excellent! I'm as regal as a potato."

Before I can fully enjoy the moment, this moment of realization that I am that much closer to my goal, he says, "Careful Dearie. A Queen strutting amongst peasants might not like what she hears."

This is trivial. I won't be among the people long once I have Snow in my sights. "Won't matter... When I'm done they'll be singing my praises over her smoldering, villainous remains."

Through magic Rumplestiltskin sends me to the center square. I was not about to walk the whole way there after all. I walk through the bustling village and take a look around the market place. It was so beneath me to be amongst these people but then again it might be nice for me to experience. I could mingle among them and maybe hear a word or two about myself in the process. I might even manage to figure out where Snow is hiding.

I hear a raucous just along the city wall and as I make my way over I hear this man call out to the crowd, "Step right up, step right up folks. Try your luck. Here we go now don't be shy."

As I make my way closer I see him standing behind a table, a row of feathered darts lined out before him, and then I see a ghastly thing. There is a figure hanging up that is dressed up in royal garb. That can't be... "That... That's the Queen." I say more to myself than anyone else. What is the meaning of this?

"The _Evil_ Queen..." He says before going right back in to his pitch. "Step right up and sink an arrow right in her heart."

What? Oh no... no no. This is an outrage. "That's not right..." I say trying not to let my anger get the best of me.

"Well it's fixed actually." This awful man starts to say, "You can't hit the Queen in the heart... cause she ain't got one." The people laugh at this. They are laughing... at me.

"Kill the Evil Queen!" A younger man shouts as he picks up one of the feathered darts. With the crowd cheering him on he hits the figure of... me.

I'm... I'm not believing what I am seeing. "How could you do that? She's your Queen." Queens are to be loved and worshiped. What is going on here?

"Snow White should be our Queen." This young man says to me.

Uh... will I never cease to hear her name wherever I go. "Snow White is a bandit. A murderer and a menace." I say though no one is really listening to me.

The crowd is murmuring behind me all the while and the older man says, "Lies! The Queen is evil."

I am not evil. What have I ever done to these people that would be evil? They simply do not know what they speak of. "Then you don't know her." I say as kindly as I can. If they only knew who I was. If they knew what I had to go through to be their Queen they wouldn't' be this cruel.

"Thank my lucky stars for that." The young man says as he now has a lit torch in hand. "Let's burn her!"

No... no no no. I will not let this happen. I will not stand by and let them deface me. I deserve respect and respect I shall have! "This is treason! I won't stand for it!" I take the torch from the boy and use it to keep him and everyone else away from that figure. They will not burn me down!

Then there is a whistle from behind the crowd. It is two of my own guardsmen no doubt coming to keep the peace. "It's about time. Where were you?"

It is Berkley my main man who steps forward to ask me, "You do this?"

What an absurd notion. Why would I deface a figure made to resemble me? "Of course not I was trying to stop it."

Berkley then turns to ask his partner, "That what it looks like to you?"

"Looks to me like some dirty Slag is defacing an effigy of our Queen." Dirty Slag? He did not just call me a dirty Slag? I'll have him strung up for this. "Well fair play to you Miss... it looks just like her." He says and laughs at me.

He dares to laugh at me? Oh I'll fix this man good. I go over and retrieve that dart from the figure of... me... and point it at him. "How dare you! I'll have your head for that Rivers."

"She knows your name." Berkley says and then he moves closer to me. "How dare you address the knight of a Queens's guard thusly."

What a bunch of morons. I forget... I work with nothing but incompetence. "I know your names you idiots because I _Am_ the Queen." I pull back my hood to reveal myself and they only stare at me in disbelief not realization. I forgot... I don't look like me right now.

They start to move in on me and I know how to reveal myself then. I'll just conjure up my... oh wait... I don't have my magic do I? If they don't believe that it's me they might lock me away or have me put in the dungeon. I... I can't think of anything to do to convince them. They have me restrained and start to lead me away laughing all the while.

I begin to panic and all I can think to do is say, "I am the Queen... I can prove it. Let go of me Berkley!" _Quick Regina, think of something!_ "I hired you a year ago despite your drunkenness and you... you I had flogged last spring for lateness. How would I know that?" Precisely... only I would know that... wouldn't I?

Rivers mutters to Berkley, "I'm not liking her any better." We come to a platform. I think this is where they do the beheadings. I do not like this one bit and when I hear Berkley's response I feel my heart skip a beat and my stomach drop. "Let's cut of her head."

No no no! This was not supposed to happen! How can they do this? Why don't they believe me? Is this what he meant when he said I would not like what I might hear? Did he know this might happen? "Rumplestiltskin!" I call out for him to help me and then I hear a sort of whir in the wind.

Rivers grunts beside me and struggles to stand up straight. I hear a commotion from the crowd and I try to turn to see what's going on. Berkley draws his sword and starts to fight a cloaked bandit. _Someone is trying to save me? I... I can't believe it. I knew someone would come. I knew someone had to care._

I manage to stand up even with my hands bound behind me. I try to get a good look at this bandit but I am struck by the blade of a sword. I've never been struck like that before. I fall from the platform but thank heavens someone or something breaks my fall.

An older man comes to my side while the fight between the two guards and this hooded bandit continues on the platform above us. I lift my head to look but still cannot make out the person. Two more men come to my side to help me and as I stand on my own two feet the bandit stands on the platform quite victorious. They pull back the hood of their cloak only to reveal, "Snow." Suddenly I feel a sharp pain, either from this revelation, or quite possibly from my wound. My body is engulfed in a sweat and I shut my eyes unable to bear the pain of any of this.

****I am very grateful for my Chapter 1 Reviews! Thank you! :) Will update soon** **

here...


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_I am standing on a platform in the town Square. The people are laughing and throwing things at me. I am bound to a post. There is a line of peasants all armed with feathered darts. A young man pulls his arm back and as he releases his dart in my direction he shouts,_ "Kill the Evil Queen!"

I wake with a start and grasp at a hand that is reaching out to my forehead. "Don't move." I hear someone say in a hushed tone. "You need to lie still. You have a fever… dirty blade'll do that."

I manage to look this person over and realize I am being tended to by… "Snow White." I can't help but growl her name. It's an involuntary reaction really but her next question reminds me to compose myself.

"What's your name honey?"

My name? Come off it child you know who I… Oh wait. I forgot. I'm not me. _I'm… quick think of a name. I need a name. My Grandmother's name was…_ "Wilma, my family works in the mills."

"Nice to meet you Wilma, you're going to live by the way." She says this smiling at me and she is working on some sort of herb mixture in a bowl.

I force myself to smile at her. Who knew I would have to work to sell this disguise. I start to sit up and feel all the aches and pains of my body. What the hell happened to me? It hurts so much just to sit up so I try to stay as still as I can while trying to get a good look at her. "How long until I can get up?" How long until I am able to subdue you and get this whole thing over with?

"Two days?" She says this like a question because she is unsure. Why would she know? She isn't a healer. Why is she even trying to tend to me? "Picked a good place for it though, fresh water, healing herbs, it's not bad hunting if you don't mind killing the royal livestock… which I don't."

Ha ha… yeah sure. Snow White is a hunter. "You don't know how to do that." I can't believe I just said that out loud. Now she's looking at me like I'm crazy. "Oh… I mean... You were a princess." I point out to her.

"Someone from another forest taught me, it's a long story." She says.

Clearly she's picked up on quite a few tricks of the trade out here. How on earth did she manage that? Not only that... How is she able to avoid being caught? "There are people hunting for you. It's dangerous for you to be here." Yet here she is and she's taking care of me? I mean… well… a stranger she just met? "Why are you helping a perfect stranger?" I can't help but be curious. Does she even realize who she is speaking to?

She does not respond to my question but instead says, "I'm going to bathe your wound but it's going to hurt… so… just listen to me okay? It's easier if you're distracted."

Oh I'm distracted alright. She did not answer my question. She may be on to me. She's probably trying to draw me in to some sort of verbal trap. She's going to make me slip up here...

"When I was younger the horse I was riding ran away with me. I was about to be thrown. I would've been killed. This woman…" Oh no she knows. She knows who I am. "She had no idea who I was. She came charging after me… she saved me." Maybe she doesn't know who I am. She's smiling. She's actually serious about this story. "She risked her own life… it changed me. My Mother always told me to keep goodness in my heart and this woman proved that she was right… you okay?"

She's talking about me to a stranger. She's telling the story of how we met? Why? I mean yes I did save her. It seemed like the honorable thing to do at the time. She was scared. She was just a little girl. I… I knew how to ride my horse. It was one of my most favorite things to… oh wait she's stopped talking. I… Oh I guess I've been staring at her for a while now. "I'm good… I'm listening." She looks at me like she's suspicious. Oh this is a trap isn't it? I'm making a mess of this whole situation. What was she talking about? Oh… She said that I changed her? "Changed you?"

"Yes." Then she smiles again. It's so strange to see her smile… at the thought of… well… me. It is because of me isn't it? "She taught me that there could be this genuine, selfless, connection between people even strangers." I… What? I did that? I… "There I'm done."

I didn't know that… that I meant anything to this child… this… this young girl. I swear it almost sounds like… it's almost as if… she might… care for me. "What happened to her… this stranger?" I ask trying to keep this conversation going. I can't… I cannot even grasp what I am hearing right now.

"She's gone… oh but I hope she comes back some day." She's given me a flagon of water, tucked it gently into my hand, before she stands and walks out of this little shelter.

All this time that I have been hunting her… I've tried to have her killed. I arranged her father's death as a setup. I cast her out and she's… she's telling a story about me to someone she thinks to be a stranger. Why is that? She could have told me any other story if it was simply to distract me. She could have chosen to speak about her mother or her father but… she… she's telling a story about me, the story about the day that I saved her life.

She should hate me. I mean she has every reason to. I took everything from her. She's out here living a rough life while I am ruling her Father's kingdom. Instead of hate she simply tells a tale purely driven by… what… admiration? All I did was stop a horse, and I'm still certain Mother had something to do with that, but the fact remains it was such a simple albeit foolish act on my part. I mean I couldn't just let her die could I? She was just a frightened child at the time. I… Oh I'm so conflicted. I'm exhausted. I just need to… to shut my eyes for a second to clear my head. Gather my wits. Focus on my plan… that pesky plan that I am having trouble recollecting at the moment.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_I'm in the fields. It's sunny, warm, and bright. In the distance I see Daniel waiting at the top of the hill. He's leaning on a tree, smiling at me, as I rush over to him. I steal a kiss. He holds me in his arms and I can't help but press my head to his heart. I hear it beating. I feel the warmth of him as he holds me just a bit tighter. This closeness, this tender touch, this is love._

_Suddenly the skies turn darker as if a storm is coming. A great wind blows in and pushes us apart. We're in the stables now. The lights of the lanterns extinguish as Mother appears _in a puff of smoke_. She takes several steps towards Daniel but I jump out in front of him._ "No!" _I shout at her and with a blast of her magic she throws me out of the way._ "I love him!" _I say to her as she thrusts her hand in to his chest. She pulls out his heart and crushes it._ "I love him!" _I say again._ "Wilma…" _I hear whispered in my ear._

"Wilma…" _I hear again and then I feel a hand on my shoulder shaking me. _"Wilma? Wake up… You're just having a bad dream." Snow says and I realize the fever has caused this horrible nightmare I was just experiencing. By the way the sun has set I must have been asleep for quite some time now.

"Oh… I…" Did I say those things out loud? Oh good grief. Did she hear me use anyone's name? I mean she might figure out who I am. She's always been very perceptive. This I remember well.

"You were talking in your sleep. I'm not all too sure what you were saying but it was getting progressively louder." She says as she moves to retrieve a bowl of water with a rag in it. "Your fever still hasn't broken. Are you… do you want to tell me about your dream. Was it a nightmare?" She asks as she reaches out to put the rag to my face. I can't seem to sit up and my eyes burn with the heat of that fever still.

"I… no it was… it was just a dream. I'm fine." I say dismissively as I shut my eyes and just take a moment to appreciate the coolness of the wet rag against my cheek. I would be lying if I didn't admit it was nice being tended to but maybe under different circumstances I might appreciate it more.

I haven't had a dream like that in a long time. It must be because of her story… the memories. She's brought them all back up to the surface. I… I don't want to be dealing with this right now. With my eyes still shut I take a few calming breathes. I'm tired but I know if I fall back asleep I might speak up again. What if I say something revealing? I can't let that happen. Not if I want to follow through with my plan. I can't… fall… _asleep_.

I jerk my body and open my eyes. I must have dozed off because the girl is now lying on her back beside me. Her hair is a mess of dark curls and she looks almost as if she is smiling. She probably couldn't look any more peaceful if she were dead.

_Eternal sleep, now there's a thought_. How can she even manage to sleep out here anyway? She's living like a vagabond, a little bandit on the run, and she is able to sleep at peace? Under normal circumstances I would not be able to sleep at all out here. I just wish I were back in my own bed, in my own castle. I…

She starts to move so I quickly shut my eyes to feign sleep. Could you imagine… having her realize I was watching her sleeping this whole time? I mean I didn't even do that when we lived in the same castle together. _Oh… but… I'm not me right now._ I keep forgetting. I have to get back on track here. I'm supposed to be taking advantage of this situation. I'm supposed to end her… _She's…_

and now suddenly I feel a hand slip in to mine. What is happening? I mean I certainly can't move now. She'll know I'm awake… or that I have been this whole time. _Relax Regina! Relax! Don't panic. Just calm down. She's… maybe she's asleep. Maybe I should check._

I open my eyes just slightly to find that her eyes are shut. It's… It's fine… but when I look to my hand that I had resting beside my head it's being held firmly in hers. She rolled over to rest on her side and she reached out to… to hold my hand? What is she playing at here? Is she… is she simply reaching out to me? Is this… some sort of a trick? I hate this. I wasn't expecting to be in this situation. I was just supposed to get rid of her… not… Oh what the hell is going on here?

Well now what? I'm trapped here aren't I? My leg is wounded and bandaged. My body is warm and aching. I'm being held prisoner by a sleeping runaway princess who won't let go of my hand. Why is she even holding my hand? I still don't… I don't understand how she can show kindness to a complete stranger. I can't ever remember her being this kind and gentle to me when I became her stepmother. Then again I never gave her much cause for it did I?

Is it silly of me to think that perhaps in another life we might have been happy together? If I had let her in I might have been someone she could have cared for. I still can't get over the way she told that story about me. She smiled and spoke with nothing but sincerity. I don't think I've ever heard… well… _anyone_ speak of me in that way. In the town square those people… they openly mocked me. They… Oh… why am I wasting time thinking about those peasants anyway. None of it matters.

If people cared for me the way they care about her things might at least be bearable for me. The way those people call for Snow to be their Queen… it has everything to do with her kindness doesn't it? She's gentle and caring but to what extent? Sometimes she doesn't think before she acts. She's such a foolish child. She lives life on the notion that if she keeps goodness in her heart things will work out in the end. What did goodness, kindness, or love ever do for me?

That is all weakness. I gave in to a simple act of kindness. I saved this girl's life and it was the start of a disaster. No matter how I try to twist this in the end I always come to the same conclusion. It was a mistake to save her. I took the goodness of my heart that she spoke of and saved her only to later be punished for it with this… this unbearable life where no one loves me, where I married a man I did not love. How is any of this good? Goodness gets you nowhere. She lives on this foolish notion her mother ingrained in her mind.

My mother would never try to instill that sort of lesson on me. _"Love is weakness"_ I can recall her saying a time or two. I always thought she was wrong for saying this to me but I can't help but understand her logic. I... I allowed myself to fall madly and deeply in love only to have it all taken away. I should never have indulged in such a thing regardless of how I felt for Daniel. I don't think we would have been able to be together. Not with the plans Mother had for me and I see now that being Queen is my destiny. All I have to do now is get the people to love me and the only way to do that is to get rid of this child... this girl... who sleeps beside me now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

A few rays of sunlight peek through this makeshift shelter and help to ease me awake. I cannot believe how well I slept through the night. I guess knowing that someone was out here in the forest with me made it that much easier to sleep. _Oh... listen to me go on like a blathering idiot._

When I come to my senses I stretch my arms slightly and look over to see Snow putting out the fire. I take a look around and notice that she has packed up her things. She tells me that she thought she heard a noise in the woods and doesn't want to stick around too long for fear it could be some of my own guard lurking about. She hands me a sword. She trusts me enough to arm me. I can't help but smile inwardly at this. She's practically handing herself over to me with the offering of a weapon. _How_... _convenient._

Perhaps now that I have slept off my fever and am well enough to walk I might also find the strength to kill her. It should be easy enough and why wait? No one will find her out here. No one will miss her. I mean clearly she's been on the run for a while now. It will be easier to deal with her now than take her back for that punishment I had been thinking of before. There really is no need for extra effort on my part.

I keep behind her as she has instructed me to. Little does she know I am sizing her up. I haven't really dealt with someone physically. I may not be able to subdue her without first weighing all the options here. If she has managed to escape my men time and again she must have certain skills I need to be made aware of but patience simply has never been one of my strong suits now has it?

I take a moment to look over this sword. I wonder how she came to have it. I wonder if she had to steal this or if someone simply handed it over to her. I mean... with her _kindness_ she must have won someone over already. What am I thinking? _Of course_ she has won someone over. She has the whole of a kingdom still at her beck and call. _Kindness_... perhaps I should even the scales of fate? Show that kindness is weakness and punish her the way I have been punished for my kindness towards her. You don't win when you are kind. _Oh sweet little Snow... If you only knew the pain of what a simple act of kindness can do._

I pull the sword slightly from its sheath and I try to gauge her awareness of my actions. She seems unfazed by this but then maybe she's already planned a counter attack. I simply am not knowledgeable enough in hand to hand combat to fight her off, especially not in my current limping state. _I need something to buy my time with. Perhaps I can gain some insight. _If I am not able to take advantage of a given situation and subdue her now I can always find out where she will be later when I have my magic back. So I make it a point to instigate a conversation, "If the stories are to be believed... the Queen sent the huntsman to tear out your heart..."

Snow is looking ahead but turns her head slightly to answer, "She did." I take her hand as she offers it to help me step down over a log.

"How horrible…" I say trying not to sound too amused. She does not say anything more which is only slightly unnerving. I mean just the evening before she had offered me in my current disguise insight in to her life with a story. She comforted me after a nightmare and practically held me hostage by holding my hand as she slept. For someone so keen on trusting a stranger she seems to be holding back quite a bit now. Is it because of how she feels about me? Is it because that hate for... The _Queen_... has finally bubbled to the surface. She does hate me doesn't she?

I do not release her hand so that she will meet my gaze before I ask more of her. "If you had her here in front of you now... would you kill her?" I can't help but ask. I really do want to know. If she might be capable of it I need to know because if I try something now and fail she might end me and I'll be damned if I will not come out of this encounter victorious.

She sighs, a bit exasperated with me I am guessing, but she does respond in kind. "Regina wants to hurt people. I think she's in constant pain and is always looking for someone to blame for it." _Oh that's not fair. I know exactly who to blame for all of this... I simply mean to... _"We lived in the same household and still she could never see that I was on her side. She wanted _revenge_ more than she wanted love and I can't live that way. I want to be guided by love. So no... I wouldn't kill her."

_Huh... she wouldn't kill me?_ Even if given the chance. I guess that means I'm safe… but surely she's saying this simply to put a stranger at ease. "No one is that generous... people simply aren't that good."

"Oh I think they are... even her. She's just afraid to look vulnerable." Snow says casually.

_Wait a minute…_ "You... you believe there is good inside there?" I ask completely dumbfounded.

"I know there is..." She says this and she seems quite sure. "I've seen it. I wish she'd give herself the chance to be that person again."

She saw good in me? That can't be right. I am not even that person anymore. I'm in way too deep here. It is far too late for me to take all of this back isn't it? "You don't think it's too late for her?"

"Oh... I don't think it's too late for anyone."

What is she saying? That she might forgive me here? That... she... _wants_ me in her life? "So if she..." I don't even know where to begin with my question. I have now stopped walking and she stops to look at me. I have her attention now. I will not waste this. "If she wanted to change, if she wanted to be a family again, if she... wanted to be good would you forgive her for that? Would you let her back in?" I don't think I've ever been this... hopeful before. I mean I guess the idea of having someone around who genuinely cares about me seems like something I might want. I just... don't know.

"If she really meant it... yes. I would love that." She would? "I wouldn't mind a feather bed but neither one is happening so there's no use thinking about it. She wouldn't offer."

I can't help but laugh a bit in delight. _You're wrong Snow. If given the chance... knowing what I know now... things could be different. I can change. _"Sometimes people can surprise you." I offer but then she stops walking.

She's staring down hill into a gap between the trees and then I realize where we are. She gasps clearly not prepared for what I remember lies ahead. The dead bodies of the villagers I had Berkley kill off just a few nights ago, covered in blood, strewn over the ground.

"We've gone further than I've thought." I say though I did not mean to do so out loud.

"These people are dead because they helped... _me_." She says quite distraughtly. Her eyes are filled with tears and there is pain written in her face. Normally this is something I would live to see, to see her broken, but we just had something here. I just had something with her. I can't let that go. I can't give up now that things might work out here between us. I can still be a part of her life if she'll let me. I just... I have to learn to comfort her. I have to be willing.

I reach out to her to try and assure her simply of the fact that, "You didn't do this."

"Oh I know... she did it." It's hard not to miss the venom in that statement. "I take it back." She growls and I don't understand right away what she's speaking of. "It's too later for her." Oh... no that's not... "I could never forgive her." She just said that she could... "There is no good in that woman. None! I was wrong..." No don't say that. You said that there... "There never was."

That's not what she said in her story. She can't take that back now. "... but what about when she rescued you? The horse..." I start to remind her.

"What are you talking about?" She asks and I can see that she is genuinely confused. I can't believe she's forgotten from one day to the next.

"Your story about being saved..." I mean clearly what else could I be talking about here. _I saved you. That was good remember? _

"I never said it was her..."

Oh crap. That's... right. She... never... "I read between the lines..." I offer but can't hide the unease in my voice. Oh no, I think I've said too much here.

In one swift motion she pulls an arrow and draws her bow. I can't help but flinch. I didn't know she was such an efficient archer. I clearly do not know this girl at all anymore. She's eyeing me... almost searching my eyes. There's no doubt in my mind now. I've given myself away. "It was you..." She growls at me. There's a waver as her voice hitches. I can hear the anger through the words that spill forth from her clenched teeth. "Regina, your dark magic is hiding you somehow but _IT_ is you."

No sense in denying it now. "Yes it is me... but there is good in me." I can't help but remind her. She said so herself. If I can just get her to see...

"If this is your idea of good... I want no part of it." She says to me. She's got me in her sights now. I have nothing left to do but defend myself.

I move my hands in a motion to conjure my magic but then fail to remember one key point... I do not have my magic. "Damn." I grumble. I still have the sword though... _oh right_... but not the skill to wield it. I'm at a disadvantage here. I call out to Rumple and when I feel he is not coming to aide me I drop the sword and make a run for it hoping she doesn't come after me.

I run as far as my wounded little leg will allow. I run past a large tree and take a moment to hide behind it, getting my second wind. I turn back around to see if she is following me and can't help but feel a little relieved that she isn't there now. I don't know how I could survive another day without my magic. I am completely defenseless out here. At least hiding with Snow I felt safe. Now I have to make the trip to Rumple's castle... by foot.

Feeling a little defeated though I let myself slump to the ground. What did I think might happen back there? That she would simply over look all I have done? That she would give me a chance to be her family? I always do this. I always let myself get caught up in a moment only to have my hope shattered. I will never have that. I will never have someone to care for me again.

"Ahhh!" I can't help but growl at myself. _Look at me crying like an idiot_. I'm wasting tears on a fantasy. Who could ever love me after the things I have done? If no one even gives me a chance why should I make an effort now? Goodness is overrated anyhow. _Get up Regina! Stand up and move! It's time to fulfill your destiny whatever the cost! _

I can hear Mother's voice in my ear, "Now clean yourself up, wipe away your tears, because now... You're going to be Queen."

****I am very grateful for the few reads, reviews, and follows to this story. I thank you. I hope to continue with this a while longer if only for another Chapter. :)****


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